Well, tonight I am very anxious and excited because we are scheduled to meet with our caseworker for the last time (before the home study) tomorrow afternoon!! I feel like we have accomplished a lot to be able to have everything turned in and signed off on tomorrow! Really, I am completely filled with joy beyond expression. With tomorrow's meeting, we also pay our dues and can't turn back...if you think about it, that is kind of scary because it is literally just the beginning of what could be a VERY VERY long wait...that could end up unsuccessful. I don't mean to seem negative, but my bother and sister in laws are both going through LDS family services and are almost about to expire (meaning they have been waiting for two years without a placement). The concept of waiting and not getting a baby brings a little worry to my mind, but I honestly feel that our baby is close, close is my time or Gods, I do not know.
Did any of you feel that same way? I would love to hear how you felt at this stage and if you have any advice to help us avoid worry and stay positive while waiting.
I know that the next few months will be the hardest, but also the most fulfilling because, as mentioned in an earlier post, I feel more excited than ever because I KNOW that someday I will be able to be a mom and have the title of "mommy".
Thank you for all the support and the comments that are made on these posts, it really means a lot to me to know that I have a support system, and most importantly, that I have examples to follow.
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2 comments:
How exciting! I can't wait to hear how everything went.
Good luck!
A.C.
THe waiting is hard. It really is. But so worth it. We waited for well over two years for Gideon. And I wouldn't trade him for anything.
I can't really explain it without telling you that last fall (when we were hitting our two year mark) I finally hit a point where I was really okay with the idea that we might have children in mortality. I mean for years I'd tried to tell people that I'd be okay. But I really wasn't. Last fall after we returned home from vacation and moved into our house, I finally realized that I had a blessed life. I had a wonderful husband, a great career and a comfortable lifestyle. In addition to the blessings of the restored gospel. So I made a goal to just look for the blessings in my life each and every day.
And from that point on, I really relaxed about the whole thing. I finally felt what I'd known all along. That it was possible for me to be happy and content and live a full life, even if it wasn't blessed with children.
(That doesn't mean I didn't have bad days now and then, but I can say that 99 days out of 100 I felt really good about my life.)
And then wouldn't you know it, just when I got to the point where I felt that way, less than six months later, we're blessed with a beautiful baby boy.
It may sound trite but as someone who's been there, Heavenly Father has specials souls waiting for you. I'm sure you've already felt that, and it's part of the reason why childlessness is so difficult. You KNOW you're supposed to be a mother. And you will be. You'll get those precious spirits. The hard part is allowing our will to be swallowed up in the will of the Lord. We want it now. He knows what's best.
Chin up. You'll do great. And someday you'll look into the face of your own little angel and say "Oh. That's why it took so long. I had to wait for you."
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